Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
