I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
