You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
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Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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