Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
