Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
