Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
