she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize