He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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