Christians are straight up FREAKS
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
