she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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