he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
