Is it because I queefed?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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