Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
