I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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