I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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