You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
