I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
