I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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