and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
