We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
