i may or may not be watching the land before time
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
