So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
