i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My life is pants optional.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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