I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
