i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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