He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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