Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
