There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can text with my tongue
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
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he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
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We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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