watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
