Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
