Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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