I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
