It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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