should my penis look like a turkey
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
