how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
