I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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