Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I could fuck to npr.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
