she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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