The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
