Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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