I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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