What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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