My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize