if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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