We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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