You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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