Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
