So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
