I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
