so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome