watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.