I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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