Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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