I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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