im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just found a bag of teeth...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This is the high leading the old right now
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
