we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize