Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
