Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize