a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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