Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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