peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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